You’re welcome, those of you whom do not even grasp the glory and enormity of your King County Parks. ParksMonkey has pulled back the ferns to give you a glimpse at 24 hours in this glorious system.

Saturday morning: Why are there so many people running on your Snoqualmie Valley Trail? Zombies. No. Wait. Blerches. Makes more sense. The Oatmeal put together their (you know who you are Inman) second annual “Beat the Blerch“. It’s a hot mess. In the best way. You know, the kind of messes that involve costumes and Nutella. So if this is starting to sound like something you are in to AND you like run-wheezing really long distances, then I say sign up or shut up, bro. The good thing is, all these people seemed very pleasant, and will be too tired to bother you if you should happen across them on our trail. The course has them leaving from Tolt-McDonald and wheezing all the way up above Snoqualmie Falls. In a cruel twist they then run back passed Tolt to Duvall. THEN, run back to Tolt for the finish. Again, if this appeals to you and running around your coffee table has just gotten old.

Saturday afternoon: What’s with the creepy masks, flying things and the “cankle-cam”? No big, just Issaquah’s inaugural Fantastic Fly-In (this really should be three exclamation marks)! Yeah, they did it. They made people jump off a mountain in costumes for our amusement. You think mountains got nothin’ on you? Well sign up for a tandem ride with Seattle Paragliding then, if yer so boss. Seriously, these guys know their thermals.

Saturday night, thru Sunday: Lastly, what are those serene shots of people eating food stuffs and smiling? That would be King County’s CHOMP! A celebration of local, sustainable living and all around awesomeness. This was its inaugural year, and like all newborns, it showed up on the scene with chubby cheeks, rainbows and fresh goods. We had a farm to table dinner brought to you by some of the most amazing local chefs. Activities for the family. Fresh produce. Killer music and performances. Trampolines. Chickens and NO clowns. Win. Brought to you by…us and presented by PCC Natural Markets.

The things a parksmonkey must do. What? Concert tonight? Sure, but NO clowns.

Eyes not bleeding from all the awesome photos yet? You can see more over here.