“Weeee just wanna celebraaaaate.” WAIT! did you bring yer creepy mannequin to the park to make an example out of them?!!??!?!?!?! Nooooooooo!!!!!!

Ohhh, that’s an example of what COULD happen in meat-space. Gotcha.

• Don’t hold explosive in kitchen-gloved hand.
• Don’t stare into angry-hellfire cup of coffee.
• Don’t leave watermelon out for government employees.

Check. We all understand this, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight? Great.

*Please also remember to not bring your fireworks or creepy mannequins to any King County Parks this holiday weekend. We can’t replace our parks, your mannequins or your fingers.

Hugs from your favorite non-nanny agency.

What’s this?!? You say you’re not bummed about the fireworks/mannequins ban, but still want to celebrate in a county park? Shucks. We have a solution for you! Well, not us, but the amazing City of Carnation [love these guys + they were judged best tasting water in King County] and the Carnation 4th of July Committee. Turns out, they put on a little 4th of July Celebration, and we host the parking, seating, and a few other shenanigans.

So why don’t you come on out to Carnation, and Tolt-MacDonald Park, to celebrate our independence with one majorly awesome day this July 4th? Yeeeeeee Hawwww,’Merica and all that!

See you Monday.